Very good question. Especially since practice makes permanent“.

“a partner who is stable on their feet and offers a steady walk to the music. Now that is something that most men could be (perhaps already are?) ”

I agree that most men are already sufficiently stable on their feet to dance tango, since this is no more than is required for walking down the street… and we don’t see their prone bodies littering the pavements .

The opposite impression most commonly arises IME from a highly unrepresentative sample – guys still in tango dance classes after a few months. Such guys have had to forego their natural stability to achieve steps that are acquired externally by copying an instructor, rather than originated internally in maintenance of stability within the embrace. And often such instructed steps are embrace-free a.k.a. “open hold”, turning the traditional embrace-based relationship between the two partners’ natural stabilities from cooperation to conflict.

It is also sometimes said that practice makes perfect. But much depends on what is being practised and how? I have observed beginners at a practica tying themselves in knots as they try to execute their latest tricks and flicks. Sadly, what is commonly served up in workshops is most effective at producing the most undesirable form of anti-social dancer.

KL wrote: A guy who relies on his masculinity, and nothing else, in his dance, will never be a desirable dance partner

I’m not quite sure where this idea comes from or where it may have been suggested. But it is good to hear you appreciate a partner who is stable on their feet and offers a steady walk to the music. Now that is something that most men could be (perhaps already are?) capable of. So, perhaps this simple message could be communicated to all those ‘dance-aversive’ men earlier spoken of? In short, can the commerce-driven complexity be momentarily set aside as we return to the well and the notion of a shared hug to the music?

It is hard for those who start in the typical beginners’ workshop, trying to learn to dance by partnering someone who can’t. It is much easier for those without the handicaps therein acquired.

The simplicity comes from simplicity. In my opinion.

Workshops (in my opinion) are more a stopping point. Certainly they lead many more tango dance newcomers to quit learning than to start dancing. If newcomer dancers of Golden Age BsAs had to run the gauntlet of 21st-century tango workshops, surely the tango dance tradition would not be alive today…

“the ladies are much more dance-addicted than average in my city

Kizombalover, please tell this guy the name of your city, so he can be sure to visit some time

My own guess is that many men feel inhibited and intimidated by the image of tango that is widely promoted by television, dance schools and unscrupulous teachers whose interests are not best served by the timeless simplicity of social tango.

Workshops, in my opinion, are just a starting point, without practicing (at home or elsewhere) one does not improve and does not enrich the tango repertoire.

“That’s it”??> Well, I do feel you’d find it useful to consider what’s made your guys so much more dance averse that average.

Paul wrote: “what I find most often gets in the way of this is the enthusiastic desire shown by some ladies to get in as many recently acquired workshop elements as possible in any given dance”

I agree, and one of the drivers behind girls (not to say necessarily kizombalover) switching to dance as guys is to get the opportunity to do more of the material of DIC workshops. Often one hears girls express frustration of feeling they never get to do much the stuff they’ve learned in their workshops. This is doubly sad since really the only place to dance Tango de Workshop is in workshops, not milongas. It rarely leads students to become happy dancers. More often it leads students stuck in workshops until they become workshop teachers.

I’m inclined to think that both sexes are unconsciously influenced by what is commonly called body language: we respond to such non-verbal cues and signals all the time and are wonderfully adept at forming impressions and drawing conclusions about each other whether these are reliable or not. Social psychology research, for instance, appears to have confirmed how seating posture among students may have perceptible effects on teacher performance. Briefly, a classroom or lecture-hall full of upright students leaning slightly forward and maintaining good posture is likely to produce a livelier and more engaging performance by the teacher or lecturer. It does seem reasonable to assume that dancers attentive to these non-verbal cues are likely to fare better in receiving invitations to dance. Listen here
to what a fine dancer like Amanda Lucero has to say on this topic.

you do not get any dances – you give up trying and start leading…

I wonder how much the typical girl appreciates the extent to which that [leading ] discourages men from inviting her.

I sympathize with the frustration felt by women who don’t get as many invitations as they would like. However, I would also have to admit that I feel a bit disinclined to invite women who lead. It is not that I’ve taken any principled stand on this due to some old-fashioned offense taken at the man’s traditional role being usurped. No, it is more to do with the actual experience of dancing with women who regularly lead: somehow, the dance is generally less comfortable and easy. It is almost as if many appear to have difficulty settling back into the follower but I realize that this may sound far-fetched, patronizing or insulting. It is not meant to be.

I am curious to know what kind of girl is “desirable” in the men’s eyes.

What I most enjoy in a dance partner is the feeling of ease and surrender to the embrace and the music. Oddly, what I find most often gets in the way of this is the enthusiastic desire shown by some ladies to get in as many recently acquired workshop elements as possible in any given dance. When that happens, it is as though I’ve lost a dance partner and have become a stage prop for a solo dancer. Not very pleasant.